2 year + 15 days old

Today was a day I had both dread, and looked forward to. It's hard to really explain why. I guess you'll just have to kinda figure out what I mean and bare with me. I had hoped to write something a little more eloquent this evening, but really, the words escape me tonight. I'm a little to emotional to be eloquent I suppose.

Today Giuliana is 2 years and 15 days old. I normally wouldn't be aware of how many days old she is. I stopped counting the days once she reached a 1 month old. But today is a little different. Today was a day I knew would come, long before she was ever even born. Today Giuliana is the EXACT same age that her brother Vance was when he passed away.


I dreaded this day, for obvious reasons. Today was the day I would be looking at a child, full of life, just like Vance was at her age. I would be looking into the eyes of a child who shared the same Father, and a lot of the same personality and physical traits. I would see EXACTLY how fast 2 years can go by before you knew it. I also knew that today I would be staring a little girl who did not have a Big Brother, but a Guardian Angel instead.

I said at the beginning of this post that I had also looked forward to this day, and that reason is not so obvious. You see, in the back of my mind, the fear has always been there. The fear that something would happen to my baby too, or that someone would hurt her the way they had Vance. For me, this day is sort of like a turning point. Today will come to and end, and tomorrow, my baby will still be here. The fear that something will (or could) happen to her will always be with me, but I am hoping that it becomes less and less evident in my every day decisions.



Child Abuse and Domestic Violence needs to stop. It's a simple statement, but if you really think about it, it should sound powerful. INNOCENT women, children and babies die each day because of it. Just walk away. Everyone loses their cool, even me. But walk away. NEVER hit another person, let alone a 2 year old toddler. There is no excuse, no reason. EVER.

At some point we are all held accountable for our actions in this world, and the man that killed Vance will be held accountable for his as well. His lousy jail sentence is coming to an end and he will be able to rejoin this world & his family ... But what about Vance? He doesn't get to come back from Heaven, so why should this guy get to go anywhere but Hell? It's just not right. Just think about that for a second...


I only have one question I'd personally like to ask the man who killed Vance 4 years ago and it is this : What kind of man does that make you if you beat up on a 2 year child??





PS: These kind of pictures I am posting tonight are the ONLY kind of pictures Giuliana and Vance will ever have together.